HOLY RUNAWAYS
REDISCOVERING FAITH AFTER
BEING BURNED BY RELIGION
Available now wherever you buy books!
HOLY RUNAWAYS
REDISCOVERING FAITH AFTER BEING
BURNED BY RELIGION
Available now wherever you buy books!
“Matthias looks at the perils and promises of belief, querying whether freedom can partner with the practice of religion. Holy Runaways is a testament to struggle, questioning, intelligence, intellectual exploration, and finally, to the belief that faith without flourishing is a contradiction in terms. It holds a mirror up, asks what its reader sees, and offers pathways of safety, life and freedom.”
Pádraig Ó Tuama, poet, host and author of Poetry Unbound
“Matthias looks at the perils and promises of belief, querying whether freedom can partner with the practice of religion. Holy Runaways is a testament to struggle, questioning, intelligence, intellectual exploration, and finally, to the belief that faith without flourishing is a contradiction in terms. It holds a mirror up, asks what its reader sees, and offers pathways of safety, life and freedom.”
Pádraig Ó Tuama, poet, host and author of Poetry Unbound
Holy Runaways speaks to people who are feeling ignored, oppressed, or rejected by their religious community and church, offering a path forward built on speaking truth, deep listening, and acting with compassion.
In the past decade, church attendance among US adults has decreased by more than 25 percent. Americans report leaving religious communities because of the institutions’ hypocrisy and resistance to change or because of trauma they have experienced in those spaces. Instead of safe havens for people of faith, many churches have become sites of harm–places people feel the need to escape at all costs.
In Holy Runaways, psychotherapist Matthias Roberts reaches out to those who, like him, want to understand the religion they’ve run from and erect a new faith on firmer foundations. He concludes that the best blueprint for a new spiritual home requires reimagining ourselves, God, and our very definition of faith.
Roberts blends deeply personal stories, new interpretations of familiar Christian parables, and recent scholarship about the dynamics of trauma to offer a way forward–and a warm, helpful companion–for readers on their own journeys. He calls out people who perpetuate systems of violence and oppression and suggests ways we can all contribute to a new system built on love–and a new home we can inhabit together.
Holy Runaways speaks to people who are feeling ignored, oppressed, or rejected by their religious community and church, offering a path forward built on speaking truth, deep listening, and acting with compassion.
In the past decade, church attendance among US adults has decreased by more than 25 percent. Americans report leaving religious communities because of the institutions’ hypocrisy and resistance to change or because of trauma they have experienced in those spaces. Instead of safe havens for people of faith, many churches have become sites of harm–places people feel the need to escape at all costs.
In Holy Runaways, psychotherapist Matthias Roberts reaches out to those who, like him, want to understand the religion they’ve run from and erect a new faith on firmer foundations. He concludes that the best blueprint for a new spiritual home requires reimagining ourselves, God, and our very definition of faith.
Roberts blends deeply personal stories, new interpretations of familiar Christian parables, and recent scholarship about the dynamics of trauma to offer a way forward–and a warm, helpful companion–for readers on their own journeys. He calls out people who perpetuate systems of violence and oppression and suggests ways we can all contribute to a new system built on love–and a new home we can inhabit together.
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Early Praise for Holy Runaways:
“With his gentle but compelling voice to soothe the injuries we incurred along the way, Matthias invites us to see that when our faith changes we are not running away from something, but towards something better. Reading this book you will find that what is on the other side is healthier, more whole and embodied, but also discover that the struggle along the way can also be trusted.”
– Dr. Hillary L. McBride, Psychologist, Researcher, Podcastor, Mother, and author of The Wisdom Of Your Body
“Unapologetic. Deeply vulnerable. Validating. Unorthodox—in the most surprising and extraordinary ways. Life-giving, luminous and liberating. The words in this book are exactly what so many of us—the abandoned, ignored, forgotten—holy runaways are running towards. Matthias asks himself, “Was I hiding from the truth instead of shining a light on it?” The answer is, not at all. He’s most beautifully shining a light on too many truths that have long been hidden.”
– Marcie Alvis Walker, author of Everybody Come Alive: A Memoir in Essays and creator of Black Coffee with White Friends
“Matthias is equal parts vulnerable and wise; it is sometimes hard to be both at once. His experiences have been proven in the very real world, so don’t mistake him for a removed academic. He gives it all to us in this book with a generosity of spirit that will assuredly make you cry before you close the last page.”
– Jen Hatmaker, New York Times bestselling author and host of For the Love podcast
from the foreword
“Wow, wow, wow. I didn’t expect to find belonging in these pages, but I did. Nor I did imagine I’d find home either, but I did. Matthias offers the precious gift with his wit and his wisdom, his gorgeous prose and his tender care. His radiant and generous spirit shines in his candid storytelling. This book, like this human, is utterly beautiful.”
– Jeff Chu, author of Does Jesus Really Love Me? and co-author of Wholehearted Faith
“For anyone who has a traumatic relationship to the often toxic institution that is American Christianity, Holy Runaways is a book that will hold your hand and remind you that you aren’t alone. Matthias shares his expertise in both psychology and theology with tenderness and care, holding space for our questions while giving us courage to keep moving toward the kind of love we’ve been hoping for. The stories and wisdom in this book will help us come home to ourselves and recognize that God (or The Sacred) was here all along, waiting in the wide world for us to learn to deeply love the runaways in ourselves and one another.”
– Kaitlin B. Curtice, award-wining author of Native and Living Resistance
“Sometimes religion is the problem. Sometimes, our faith is broken by what we’ve been given; what we have inherited; and, what is all around us. But, tiny seeds of hope, light, and belonging help us continue on the way of rediscovering ourselves while we hold the paradox of faith in these moments. Embracing uncertainty and learning how to unravel from these harmful dogmatic systems is part of the work of becoming a Holy Runaway. I can only hope that my life mirrors the work of this book and encourages others to embrace the real work of faith in being rooted in yourself enough to become a Holy Runaway. Much praise for this book!”
– Dr. Roberto Che Espinoza, author of Body Becoming and Activist Theology
“For all of us wandering, zealots now vagabonds finding our way through the wild wonders of faith and belief, Matthias has offered a light on the path in front of us with his gentle and beautiful guiding for the holy runaways in all of us. Roberts offers us words for those of us who have been told that we’re now on the outskirts of connection to the divine: we belong and we always have.”
– Arielle Estoria, Poet, Author of The Unfolding, Actor
“Matthias refuses only to curse the darkness, choosing also to light a path forward. Holy Runaways is a must-read for anyone who has been hurt by religious institutions but is looking to reconstruct a capacious, life-giving faith. A poignant book that arrives at just the moment it’s most needed!”
– Jonathan Merritt, contributing writer for The Atlantic and author of Learning to Speak God from Scratch
“The world has been aching for a guide to show us what true liberation looks like, at a time when so many of us find ourselves in exile but scared to become a true runaway. Lucky for us, Matthias has the humility, intelligence, clarity, wit, and story to give us such a guide. Holy Runaways is an instant classic that will forever transform the Church and the way we see God. This book is a gift for anyone who will never be certain, but who values love, adventure, passion, mystery, and truth a whole lot more.”
– Mari Andrew, New York Times bestselling author of Am I There Yet? and My Inner Sky
“Holy Runaways is not a book, it is a manifesto for the many folks who need to know we are indeed holy, indeed beautiful, indeed adored, indeed lovable and loved. Matthias gifted us with a love letter to our younger selves to remind us that in spite of the created reality of toxic narratives, the divine made no mistakes with us.”
“As a holy runaway from the toxic religion of my own past, I somehow lost myself in Matthias’ poignant telling of his own story, and found myself at the same time while the truth of our common humanity resonated with my soul.”
– Cindy Wang Brandt, author of Parenting Forward and You Are Revolutionary
“As folks admit disillusionment with religion and seek something different, Holy Runaways offers a compassionate and nuanced approach of love, truth and God. Matthias’s emphasis on the complexity of disentangling faith, longing for certainty, and moving toward hope is welcoming and inspiring.”
– Dr. Laura Anderson, founder and director of the Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery, co-founder of the Religious Trauma Institute, and author of When Religion Hurts You: Healing from Religious Trauma and the Impact of High Control Religion.
“Matthias has crafted a beautiful, kind, and honest book that offers a way to re-engage God through a more truthful account of the harm that has been done by a broken church. His stories and wit open the heart of the reader and allow us to follow him on his journey as we engage our own pain and longing for the loving God of the universe.”
– Cathy Loerzel, Co-Author of Redeeming Heartache and Co-Founder of The Allender Center
Early Praise for Holy Runaways:
“With his gentle but compelling voice to soothe the injuries we incurred along the way, Matthias invites us to see that when our faith changes we are not running away from something, but towards something better. Reading this book you will find that what is on the other side is healthier, more whole and embodied, but also discover that the struggle along the way can also be trusted.”
– Dr. Hillary L. McBride, Psychologist, Researcher, Podcastor, Mother, and author of The Wisdom Of Your Body
“Unapologetic. Deeply vulnerable. Validating. Unorthodox—in the most surprising and extraordinary ways. Life-giving, luminous and liberating. The words in this book are exactly what so many of us—the abandoned, ignored, forgotten—holy runaways are running towards. Matthias asks himself, “Was I hiding from the truth instead of shining a light on it?” The answer is, not at all. He’s most beautifully shining a light on too many truths that have long been hidden.”
– Marcie Alvis Walker, author of Everybody Come Alive: A Memoir in Essays and creator of Black Coffee with White Friends
“Matthias is equal parts vulnerable and wise; it is sometimes hard to be both at once. His experiences have been proven in the very real world, so don’t mistake him for a removed academic. He gives it all to us in this book with a generosity of spirit that will assuredly make you cry before you close the last page.”
– Jen Hatmaker, New York Times bestselling author and host of For the Love podcast
from the foreword
“Wow, wow, wow. I didn’t expect to find belonging in these pages, but I did. Nor I did imagine I’d find home either, but I did. Matthias offers the precious gift with his wit and his wisdom, his gorgeous prose and his tender care. His radiant and generous spirit shines in his candid storytelling. This book, like this human, is utterly beautiful.”
– Jeff Chu, author of Does Jesus Really Love Me? and co-author of Wholehearted Faith
“For anyone who has a traumatic relationship to the often toxic institution that is American Christianity, Holy Runaways is a book that will hold your hand and remind you that you aren’t alone. Matthias shares his expertise in both psychology and theology with tenderness and care, holding space for our questions while giving us courage to keep moving toward the kind of love we’ve been hoping for. The stories and wisdom in this book will help us come home to ourselves and recognize that God (or The Sacred) was here all along, waiting in the wide world for us to learn to deeply love the runaways in ourselves and one another.”
– Kaitlin B. Curtice, award-wining author of Native and Living Resistance
“Sometimes religion is the problem. Sometimes, our faith is broken by what we’ve been given; what we have inherited; and, what is all around us. But, tiny seeds of hope, light, and belonging help us continue on the way of rediscovering ourselves while we hold the paradox of faith in these moments. Embracing uncertainty and learning how to unravel from these harmful dogmatic systems is part of the work of becoming a Holy Runaway. I can only hope that my life mirrors the work of this book and encourages others to embrace the real work of faith in being rooted in yourself enough to become a Holy Runaway. Much praise for this book!”
– Dr. Roberto Che Espinoza, author of Body Becoming and Activist Theology
“For all of us wandering, zealots now vagabonds finding our way through the wild wonders of faith and belief, Matthias has offered a light on the path in front of us with his gentle and beautiful guiding for the holy runaways in all of us. Roberts offers us words for those of us who have been told that we’re now on the outskirts of connection to the divine: we belong and we always have.”
– Arielle Estoria, Poet, Author of The Unfolding, Actor
“Matthias refuses only to curse the darkness, choosing also to light a path forward. Holy Runaways is a must-read for anyone who has been hurt by religious institutions but is looking to reconstruct a capacious, life-giving faith. A poignant book that arrives at just the moment it’s most needed!”
– Jonathan Merritt, contributing writer for The Atlantic and author of Learning to Speak God from Scratch
“The world has been aching for a guide to show us what true liberation looks like, at a time when so many of us find ourselves in exile but scared to become a true runaway. Lucky for us, Matthias has the humility, intelligence, clarity, wit, and story to give us such a guide. Holy Runaways is an instant classic that will forever transform the Church and the way we see God. This book is a gift for anyone who will never be certain, but who values love, adventure, passion, mystery, and truth a whole lot more.”
– Mari Andrew, New York Times bestselling author of Am I There Yet? and My Inner Sky
“Holy Runaways is not a book, it is a manifesto for the many folks who need to know we are indeed holy, indeed beautiful, indeed adored, indeed lovable and loved. Matthias gifted us with a love letter to our younger selves to remind us that in spite of the created reality of toxic narratives, the divine made no mistakes with us.”
“As a holy runaway from the toxic religion of my own past, I somehow lost myself in Matthias’ poignant telling of his own story, and found myself at the same time while the truth of our common humanity resonated with my soul.”
– Cindy Wang Brandt, author of Parenting Forward and You Are Revolutionary
“As folks admit disillusionment with religion and seek something different, Holy Runaways offers a compassionate and nuanced approach of love, truth and God. Matthias’s emphasis on the complexity of disentangling faith, longing for certainty, and moving toward hope is welcoming and inspiring.”
– Dr. Laura Anderson, founder and director of the Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery, co-founder of the Religious Trauma Institute, and author of When Religion Hurts You: Healing from Religious Trauma and the Impact of High Control Religion.
“Matthias has crafted a beautiful, kind, and honest book that offers a way to re-engage God through a more truthful account of the harm that has been done by a broken church. His stories and wit open the heart of the reader and allow us to follow him on his journey as we engage our own pain and longing for the loving God of the universe.”
– Cathy Loerzel, Co-Author of Redeeming Heartache and Co-Founder of The Allender Center
Matthias Roberts (he/him) is a psychotherapist specializing in religious and spiritual trauma and the author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms. He hosts Queerology: A Podcast on Belief and Being and holds two master’s degrees from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, one in theology and culture, and one in counseling psychology. His work has been featured by O: The Oprah Magazine, Bustle, Woman’s Day, Sojourners, The Seattle Times, and many others. He lives in Seattle.
Photo of Matthias by John Keatley
About Matthias
Matthias Roberts (he/him) is a psychotherapist specializing in religious and spiritual trauma and the author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms. He hosts Queerology: A Podcast on Belief and Being and holds two master’s degrees from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, one in theology and culture, and one in counseling psychology. His work has been featured by O: The Oprah Magazine, Bustle, Woman’s Day, Sojourners, The Seattle Times, and many others. He lives in Seattle.
Photo of Matthias by John Keatley
